Yesterday was October 1st, officially one month before the start of NaNoWriMo. I had a lot planned for the day, but unfortunately, I caught a really nasty cold/flu that kicked my ass to the point where I had to call in sick to work.
I spent most of yesterday wrapped in blankets on the couch, intermittently watching superhero tv shows and napping and eating soup.
So much for my grand plans.
I did plan to update my blog a couple of days ago, as there was something I neglected to mention in my last post.
I had an appointment with an endocrinologist last Thursday, which didn’t go as well as I had hoped, and is going to be the main subject of this post.
This one is bound to meander a bit between topics, so if it’s not TL/DR for you, please bear with me.
So, the long and the short of my recent trip to the endo is this… it’s inevitable that sooner or later, I’m going to end up on insulin. It’s a genetic thing, there’s no way around it. I believe I’ve mentioned before that because of family history, combined with an existing thyroid condition, I was always fated to become a Type 2 Diabetic. My luck.
Currently, to help control my glucose levels, I’m on a ridiculous cocktail of drugs. I eat right, and exercise, but it is what it is. I’m just one of those unlucky few, atypical diabetics that have no real chance to reverse the condition.
The endo added yet another pill to my morning cocktail, which I’m not too happy about. I was hoping that he could help me cut down on the number of meds I have to take, but that didn’t happen.
So, here are my choices, I can just give in to the inevitable and learn how to live with injecting myself on the daily, or I can make more changes, which I really should anyway, to try and delay the inevitable as long as I can.
Now, I know it’s not the end of the world, and I don’t mean to sound super whiney about it, I have friends who are living, and thriving, with much worse things to deal with. I’m not trying to diminish anyone else’s situation. I’m just really down right now about mine.
I do think I have a plan that may help though, but I’ll get back to that later.
To be honest, I really don’t have all that much to tell you folks about. I’ve spent the last week or so, when I haven’t been laid up with this cold, just trying to close out some projects around the house, in order to clear up my days for the upcoming NaNo. I know I won’t be able to get much done in November, so I figure I should try and knock out some work before then.
I had planned to start my NaNo prep yesterday, but as I said, I was pretty much a mess, so all of those plans kind of went out the window.
I did get a chance to fire up my rocket stove for the first time, to test it out and to burn out the wooden interior form that I had to leave in it. The good news is that it didn’t explode, and seems to be working as hoped. I’m hoping to get around to building the mass heater in the Greyhouse within the next week, so I can hook the stove up and see what kind of temperatures I can maintain inside it.
I’m also putting the finishing touches on the passive solar heater. I ended up having to purchase a solar panel for it, as my experiment with trying to make my own from dollar store garden lights didn’t pan out. I should be able to have it installed within the next few days.
So, back to the main point of this post, sort of…
As many of you are no doubt tired of hearing by now, this past June I finally finished writing the first draft of a novel, something I’ve been wanting, and trying, to do for a very long time.
I credit the fact that this attempt succeeded where all others failed to a few different factors – a growing sense of my own mortality (health concerns and age are making me realize I have only a limited time left), a strong desire to write, participating in NaNoWriMo, and one other very important factor.
There’s something called the Hawthorne effect, where people tend to behave better if they believe they are being watched, whether or not they actually are. That’s why in department stores and casinos, quite a few of the security cameras you tend to notice are in fact dummies. You don’t know if the one pointing at you is real or not, so you err on the side of caution.
Part of the reason for this blog was to create a type of Hawthorne effect for me. As long as I think someone is reading this, whether they actually are or not, then I’m compelled to try to keep up with my goals.
I still procrastinate and find excuses for my procrastination, but in the end, the shame I would feel if I just gave up when all of you were watching, or when I believed you were, drives me to finish.
As I said above, I have to decide whether or not it’s worth continuing to make changes in my lifestyle to try and stave off having to go on insulin for as long as possible. I’ve spent the better part of this last week soul-searching, alternately thinking “what’s the point”, and “c’mon, Rob, just fucking do the things already.”
I’m going to spend the next few days trying to muster up the courage to start posting my health goals and progress on these blogs, along with my writing goals.
What does that mean for you? Well, ultimately, not much. As long as I think you’re reading these posts, I’m hoping I can trick myself into thinking I’m being watched, and force myself to better keep up with my goals.
So, if you happen to come across a blog post of mine that lists some health progress update, just maybe take a second and give it a “like”. Do more, if you want, but a “like” once in a while as a form of encouragement will keep the illusion alive, and may help me stay off of insulin for another year or two.
So, that’s that.
As far as the writing goals for the week…
I took some advice from one of the writing blogs I subscribe to, which said that before you begin editing a first draft, you should read through it once, without taking notes or making changes. This is to re-familiarize yourself with the whole story so that when you do get to editing, you have a sense of the bigger picture that you’re trying to convey.
I’m about a quarter of the way through it (it’s big, lol) and I have to say it’s neither as bad as I feared or as good as I’d hoped.
It’s been maddening trying not to make any changes, but I’m plowing through it. There’s a lot of good in it, but also, a lot that has to be changed or cut. When I’m done reading it, I’m going to read it through again, this time taking notes as to what needs to be done to tighten it up.
I’ve also started on the outline for my next novel, which I’ll be starting Nov. 1st for NaNoWriMo. It’s another fun, sci-fi adventure, but this time in someone else’s universe, not my own, and with more of a superhero bent to it, rather than a space opera.
The articles I wrote when I finished my draft have been languishing a bit. I just haven’t had time to work on them, with everything else that has been going on lately. I’m hoping to get back to them eventually, as I’d really like to see if I can get them published, but that may be a while yet.
Well, that’s it for now. Hope you’re all enjoying the fall weather, :p