My update this time is neither good nor bad, it just is.
I was calling this past weekend my “Breakdown Weekend”, but that has a lot of negativity attached to it, so I’ve switched to calling it my “Zero Fucks” weekend. Still kinda negative, but much more accurate.
If you’ve been following along with my blog posts these past few weeks, you already know I’ve been kind of down. Some drama with some friends, some not great health test results, some dissatisfaction with certain projects I’m responsible for and a general ennui have all contributed to that mood.
So, I decided to take an extended weekend, to kind of shed responsibilities, take some time for myself, and try and re-center.
Thursday night I had an event, which went well but didn’t bring me the type of good feelings that event usually does. It’s kind of like when you go to your favourite bar, only to realize you’ve kind of outgrown it, the people have changed, the staff doesn’t know your name anymore and you just don’t feel like you belong like you used to. Still, I managed to have a good time and did get to see some friends I enjoy spending time with.
I did spend a good deal of time in my shop this weekend, which seems to have become an all too regular occurrence. I think it’s become my safe space, where I can forget about everything going on outside of its four walls and just focus on making things, or just have a beer and a smoke and listen to music.
Friday evening, a friend gave me what was supposed to be a Xmas gift, but was delayed for reasons. She took me to a micro-distillery out in Fernadale, Michigan, which specializes in Vodka and Gin, but also makes Rye and Bourbon.
I was skeptical at first. I love good Gin and have been lucky enough to travel to the home of Gin itself, London UK, so I was really dreading the type of swill I would have to sample. After all, what kind of Gin could you actually make in Michigan?
I stand pleasantly corrected.
The Gin was actually pretty good. It wasn’t a London Dry, so no overbearing juniper flavour and all of the botanicals they used were 100% natural, not extracts or chemical approximations. I saw this for myself, so it wasn’t just something written on the tour guide’s script.
The rest of the tour party that was supposed to join us didn’t show, so we basically had a private tour of the distillery, which was great. I ended up having a great time and came away from it with a lovely bottle of Old Tom Gin, which is a gin that is aged in casks, making it more akin to a sipping whiskey than anything you’d want to mix with tonic or soda.
Thank you to my friend for a much-needed distraction.
Saturday, we traveled to St. Thomas, Ontario, to attend a party at a very good friend’s house. I had a great time and got to spend the evening with some lovely people that I adore but don’t get to see often enough.
Sunday, after getting back home, I wasted some time in my shop, and then tried to catch up on my TV viewing before having to get ready to go back to work.
So, what’s missing from the breakdown of my weekend?
While I did do some writing, it again wasn’t at anywhere near the volume I’d been trying to commit to.
I’m not overly upset by that. I think I needed this time to take some distance from, well, from everything. I needed the weekend to forget about the drama, the stress, and the responsibilities I’ve committed to, to take some time and have some fun and re-evaluate where I’m at in life, and where I want to be.
So, today I’m trying to get back to reality and start making the changes I know I need to make.
I’m going to commit myself to finishing this writing project by the end of April, which is very possible. I’m also going to commit myself to backing away from those projects that I don’t enjoy anymore before I begin to resent them further and start focusing on getting my health back on track before it gets any worse.
I have to realize that I’m not in my twenties anymore, though I think I can still pass looks-wise ;), and I do have to slow down a bit. That doesn’t mean I have to act my age, just maybe something a bit closer to it.
We’ll see how that works out.
Hope you all had a good weekend.
Novel Word Count – 159,537